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Monday, December 30, 2013

Top Yoruba actress, Iyabo Ojo still searching for husband...Ten years after divorce

Iyabo Ojo
In this down-to-earth chat, crossover actress and producer, Iyabo Ojo gives reasons she's still single and not in a haste to settle down ten years after her first marriage crashed. The sexy mother of two, also spoke on the secrets of her success, life as a single mum, temptations among other interesting issues.  
You recently opened a beauty parlour; how do you joggle that with your career?
It’s all about having a proper planning of one’s activities. I cope well; I manage my time well.
Is your beauty parlour affordable or mainly for celebrities?
It’s for everybody, as long as you can afford it. The fee is very reasonable so you don’t have to be super rich or a celeb before you can afford it. We give the best of services at a very reasonable amount. Fespris World renders services such as classic spa treatment, facials, bridal make-up, manicure and pedicure, among others.
At the moment what are you working on?
I just completed my new movie which is entitled Silence. It’ about 60% English language and 40% percent Yoruba language. It’s a movie that revolves around child abuse and plans to premiere it are already in motion. I also intend taking it round the world.  
Are you now more of a producer than an actress?
My greatest dream has always been to become a producer, not just a Yoruba movie producer, but English and international producer. So I combine production with acting.
What are the movies you have produced over the years?
I have produced a couple of works including Botife, Bofeboko, Ololufe, Arinzo, and few others. But in terms of acting, I think I have lost count of how many movies.
About ten years after divorce, should we expect seeing you walking down the aisle any moment from now?
I pray and hope so (laughs). But I am very happy the way I am. I am not desperate to enter into another marriage. I am just cool; I have a man in my life that I love so much.
How does it feel being a single mother?
Initially it was stressful. But it has been 10 years now, so I am already used to it and I am enjoying every bit of it. Being a single mother is very tasking because you have to be the breadwinner. I thank God for the strength. I promised myself that I was going to give my kids the best ever. I am going to work my way through it to make sure they become what I want them to be. My son is about finishing his secondary school education and I am planning ahead for his university. My daughter too will soon be completing her secondary school education; so it has been a long journey. I have been taking good care of them over the years. Though it is not easy, but I am enjoying it.
Any hope of reconciliation with your ex husband?
 No! There can’t be anything like that; he is already remarried and I wish him all the best. We are now friends.
So why are you still single after 10 years of divorce?
I think it’s the way God has designed it. Man proposes and God disposes. I think it’s just God’s will. Apart from that, maybe because I already have kids and I feel satisfied with them. On the other hand, I am not the kind of person that rushes into things any more. Sometimes you meet someone, he might not be perfect for a marriage, but might be perfect for a relationship. I don’t want to get married and get out of it again. I want to get married and remain there. But the most important thing is that I want to be happy; my happiness matters to me more than any other thing. My children and my happiness matter more to me now. Let me say I am married to my children now (laughs); I am very much in love with them.
What lesson did you learn from your collapsed marriage?
I rushed into that marriage and I rushed out. So I have learnt to study whoever I want to get married to before venturing into marriage. People marry for different reasons- I married because I was pregnant. So I didn’t really know the man very well before the marriage.
So you weren’t in love with him then?
I loved him but the relationship hadn’t grown to the level of marriage. We were just barely six months into a relationship and we weren’t even seeing each other every day. I was in school and he was busy with his work. I didn’t really get to know him.  I just got pregnant and he wanted me to keep the pregnancy.
So what really happened? Did he abandon you, or you deliberately walked away from the marriage?
I chose to walk away because I wasn’t enjoying the marriage. It wasn’t what I wanted and I blamed it on myself because I rushed into it. In most early and rushed marriages, you don’t get to study your partner. You people get married and then begin to live like strangers. Things you should have worked out before getting married, you start working it out in the marriage and it doesn’t help. That was what affected me. I think we were just two different people. And I was still very young then-I was about 21-years-old. But I thank God because out of every disappointment, there is a blessing. The blessing is my wonderful children which God has given me, Festus and Priscilla.
What does success mean to you?
Success to me is achieving that which you have desired. It is also an ability to be a blessing to others. Success is not all about the number of cars you have, but how able you are to impart on others.  It is about the amount of life you have touched positively, not the amount of money you have.  
Are you saying you don’t look into a man’s pocket before dating him?
My man has to be comfortable- nothing comes easy. He doesn’t have to be rich but he has to be comfortable. If he is rich it becomes a plus for me. He must be able to take care of me and my kids.
You don’t believe in a woman taking care of a man?
I don’t believe in that. I did that in the past but it didn’t work. A man should work and take care of his wife, not the other way round. It is not even in the Bible that a woman should cater for a man. On the other hand, if an opportunity comes for me to help my man, I will help him, but I have to see that he is a hard working person. If a woman cloths and feeds a man, she automatically becomes the husband, and that is not good for our society.
Some people keep accusing the foundation you founded (Pinkies Foundations) as a group of lesbians; what is your reaction to that?
Do I look like a lesbian? I am not a lesbian.  Nigerians like attaching irrelevant things to something. They are saying that because I am an actress and because of the name- the sexy Pink Ladies. But it hasn’t stopped me from achieving my goals. 80 percent of the women in the group are married with kids. And I am not someone who supports lesbianism. I don’t have a problem with those who practice it, it’s their choice, but I do not believe in it because I don’t think it’s normal. So when people make such accusations, I just laugh.
But is there anything really wrong in a woman falling in love with another woman?
It is not Biblical. I am not condemning the practitioners; but to me it is not normal.
No woman has ‘toasted’ you before?
I won’t even give you the room to do that. Before you even start I will help you end it.
Tell us about your tattoos
I love my tattoos. It is just something that I fell in love with, and that was why I did it. I have them in three parts of my body-two are mostly seen, and one is on my back. The one at my back can only be seen sometimes, depending on what I am wearing, the second is on my lower waist and the third one is on my chest.  
So what does sex mean to you?
I don’t talk about that!

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