“The drama needs me.”That was her reply to a fan who accused her of being overly dramatic when she triggered a storm of controversy that recently rocked the jolly boat of Nollywood for days on end. The storm trended on the social media, spilled from Twitters to Facebook and from blogs to tabloids. While the furore lasted, avid followers of Nollywood’s off-screen dramatics relished this vintage episode of Tontomania.
For those who are not familiar with her dramatics, the question frequently asked is, what the hell is the problem with this girl?”
Fact is, nobody knows what her problem is. Tonto is complex. Is it because she shared a name with Johnny Depp’s fictional character of a Native American sidekick of the title character in the Lone Ranger? Tonto, in the language of the Potawatomi tribe of the Southwestern states, “Wild one;” in Italian and Spanish, it is a word with far less complimentary denotation: Stupid. Dumb. She is neither Indian nor Italian. She is of Ikwerre tribe, from Rivers State, an ethnicity that has several illustrious personalities such as Nollywood’s star actress Monalisa Chinda. Come to think of it, her name, an abridgement of Tontochukwu, means “Let’s praise God.” So why is this 28-year-old, whose middle name is Charity, living the native Indian meaning?
If she were to be a Manga cartoon character, the producer will never be short of apt titles for the series: Tonto the Terrible, Notorious Nuisance or the Naughty Nymph of Nollywood.
The good chapters about her is very brief –born on June 9, 1985, a Petro Chemical Engineering graduate of the Rivers State University of Science and Technology, Port Harcourt, Rivers State, she contested in AMBO Next Movie Star reality TV and ended as first Runner up. She got her break in Nollwood with Holy Cross. She won the Best Actor of the Year at the Future Awards 2012.
The rest about her are bad stuff, to be opened cautiously one chapter after the other. An attempt at psycho-profiling will leave you running round in circles, chasing question that will give you no answer. Was losing her mother at the age of three what made her a dysfunctional persona? Is she a case of someone who found fame that she cannot manage? Is she just an attention-seeking character?
And by God, she is popular. As far as popularity is concerned, there are very few screen sirens that are more popular than Tonto Dikeh. She has no claim to an extraordinary acting skill. Neither can she boast of being a role model for any worthy cause or a brand ambassador for any blue-chip product or firm. But she has an inalienable bragging right: the actor with the biggest nuisance value in Nollywood.
A creative writer can write a bestseller about her sham and shenanigans. The irony, however, is such a book would not be the kind you’d want for a bedtime read.
“Tonto’s Book of Drama”
Tonto has more than one bad habit. But her addiction to smoking is an obvious one. And in Act One, you will be confronted by the profile of a chain smoker, who discovered tobacco smoking at the age of 13, and who used to hurl invectives at her critics.
She once told them off: “If I want to smoke, I handle a stick of cigarette and I smoke it hard. It is my life I can decide to smoke myself to hell. It’s nobody’s business. My smoking habit doesn’t affect your life in any way. If I die tomorrow, you’re not going to bury me. My father has the money to bury me.”
At the end of that act, she sprung a surprise by proclaiming to be miraculously cured of her habit after prayers with Pastor T.B. Joshua via his Christian television station Emmanuel TV.
This she broadcast on Twitter as a “silly good news”.
Her testimony:
“I didn’t quit smoking by myself. I was watching a programme on TV with Prophet T.B. Joshua and he was laying hands on people and praying for them. I love to watch his programmes on Emmanuel TV. When he was praying, he said, ‘Lay your hands on the TV’ and I just laid my hands that day. I actually needed something else from God, not to quit smoking because I loved smoking! However, after praying I sat back and I think I slept off. When I woke up, I took a stick of cigarette and I felt crazy. I couldn’t even imagine that I took it up to smoke in the first place. It felt like poison!”
In the Second Act, her smoking habit took a turn with a “Marijuana melodrama,” when a photo, capturing her in a smoking session, appeared on her Instagram page with an equally smoky caption: “Mi smoke ganja mi smoke weed while my hatez smoke ma gossip.”
Of her other deviant proclivities, her addiction to tattoo is equally an interesting chapter. By October 2011, Tonto allegedly got her 57th tattoo when she travelled to the United States. She came back inked with a massive wallpaper tattoo which she revealed took 10 hours to be etched on her back.
The tattoo - a sketch reminiscent of her face – is gilded with dark innuendo arising from the two horns grafted on the figure. Asked about the symbology of the figure, she took it for an opportunity to be controversial: “It is very deep, I am a witch.”
She opened more interesting chapter in her controversial life with her incursion into music. Nobody took her serious when the news first drifted that she was about to dabble into music. Not until she dropped two singles, “Itz Ova” and “Hi,” which were greeted with widespread criticisms. Ironically, the songs had the highest downloads on music sites in Nigeria than the songs of any other Nigerian artistes. Since then Miss Dikeh has been fraternizing with musicians - Solid Star. Terry G. Kas – her collabo efforts continues to expand.
Without talent, and by no means a fantastic performer, she’s been trying to fly the kite of her music in fits and starts. Like a broken kite, she has been stumbling and fumbling in this new adventure. From the AY Live show in Lagos, which held on Easter day (where she was scantily clad in white brief and top and ended up having a shabby outing) to Iyanya’s Kukere in London (where she had the now famous “wardrobe dysfunction” during which her breasts popped out), she has been dogged with high-voltage faux pas.
Even in her primary constituency, which is acting, she is not faring any better. She claimed to have a large heart for professionalism therefore she is open to devil-may-care roles, that saw her acting unwholesome characters in flicks with soft porn elements such as Dirty Secret, Dirty Deeds and Strippers in Love.
In Nollywood, she is one of a kind. Tonto doesn’t belong to any discernible class or clique. Neither among the A-Lister, nor among the numerous younger actors of her age bracket. She is a lone ranger. Nollywood’s loose cannon. Nobody’s favourite.
She’s had confrontation with a long list of actors including Ghanaian actors, Van Vicker and Yvonne Nelson (who accused her of snatching her then boyfriend, Iyanya) as well as her Nigerian colleagues that include Patience Ozokwor. Even respected director, Charles Novia got a taste of her poison tongue when he dared to raise an eyebrow about her unprofessional act in Dirty Secret.
Recently, it was actress Mercy Johnson who got a taste of Tonto’s nastiness. The altercation started with an ambiguous tweet: “When and If I give birth, God please provide me with a husband that can provide for us. Not the one that would send me back to acting two months after to hustle.”
Observers of Nollywood did not have to stretch their imagination to know that Mercy Johnson, who went back to acting assignment two months after delivery of her baby, was the target of the tweet. A fan unwittingly fuelled the flame by asking her to lay off the nursing mother.
Consequently, Tonto unplugged completely: “Every one who come to my Twitter handle to rant about your fool MJ is a bigger bastard than her, because I never called no naughty lady’s name. F***k you!”
Lest the Kogi-born actress pretend ignorance, she threw a personal jab at her: “Go and nurse your witch bitch.”
For daring to come to Johnson’s defense, another actor, Nonso Diobi also incurred her wrath, and joined the list of enemies in her black book, which already has the name of actresses such as Halima Abubakar, her once-upon-a time close pal. However, her colleagues already knew of her cantankerous nature from several of her altercations at film locations.
Though she is game for criticism and her antic irritates, Tonto is not someone you would rush to engage in war of words. When her wrath rages, she doesn’t runs out of words – caustic, demeaning, dehumanizing, scalding words conveyed through toxic tweets. Not one to shy from controversy, she takes on her victim with the aggressiveness of a WWE virago.
What’s worse, she has a thick skin. Nothing gets to her. She won’t hesitate to block any of her followers who speak out of turn from her twitter handle. She has the time and temperament to engage in torrid Twitter rants. Tonto Dikeh will not forget to remind her antagonist that she is a lady of lucre, self-made and satisfied. So how do you deploy your flaks against her?
There is only one way to contain her whenever she goes gaga. Mercy Johnson knew it. So does several others of her colleagues. Where Tonto is concerned, silence is golden.
Those who are close to her averred that she could be as charming as Cinderella. But nobody who had been associated with her especially romantically, had come out to relish the memory of their alliance. A case in point is Inyanya. The Kukere crooner appeared on Rubbin’ Minds, a celebrity programme on Channels TV, July 2, and was asked to categorize his dream women. While he would “have dinner with Genevieve,” and “die for Yvonne Nelson,” she said he’d rather “dust off Tonto Dikeh.”
Unpertubed, Tonto replied: “Nigga sounds pained.”
She once shocked many fans and followers on twitter when she tweeted an incriminating statement: ‘I got disvirgined by @DONJAZZY.” The Mavin Record boss had played down the innuendo with a funny reply. But having been linked by gossip writers in the past, many fans believed there was a grain of truth in her indiscretion.
A caveat for any would-be Tonto’s follower on Twitter: If you are not careful, you’d end up liking Tonto for the wrong reason, which explains why she has become an obsession on Twitter. With 228,614 followers, her @TONTOLET handle is a sort of opium to her followers, who take delight in her frequent tweets that end with unique coinage, such as the indecipherable POKO.
In case you are still finding it difficult to understand why she behaves the way she does, Charles Novia’s verdict about her is insightful: “a one-dimensional actress in my opinion, who mistakes notoriety for fame.”
If you have the time to rustle through her tweets, you’d find one that sort of sums up her philosophy of life: @TONTOLET Don't Give A Fuck.. Just Want To Grow, Live, & Succeed. Fuck All That"
With Miss Tonto, never say never. The drama never ends. Even as you read this piece, she may well be on the verge of committing another gilded goof, or revving up another rage. People believed she loved drama a lot - a misconception. She is the drama# Poko.
By JIBRIL MUSA
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