Okonjo Iweala’s 46,821 ghost workers

Sincerely, I’m not moved or excited by the recent public outcry and unnecessary noise making by the federal government that it had so far identified 46, 821 ghost workers.

The Minister of Finance, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, while confirming the figure during her presentation at the 2013 Ministerial Platform in Abuja, disclosed that the ghost workers were uncovered in 215 of its ministries, departments and agencies.

It’s not enough to always bamboozle and in most cases, entertain Nigerians with scary numbers of ghost workers, without helping to find lasting solutions to their unending menace.

Madam Minister’s déjàvu announcement was not the first time Nigerians would be inundated and bombarded with such alarming figures of ghost workers in government parastatals, yet nothing concrete has been done or put in place to stem the ugly tide.

What concerted effort has the government made to arrest and prosecute those behind this thriving racket?

How many ‘ogas’ in these corrupt ministries, departments and agencies had been caught, publicly disgraced and sent to jail for feeding fat on our commonwealth? None to my knowledge.

And, year after year, government Ministers like Madam Iweala will keep blocking our ear drums with stale tales of ghost workers, without telling us how they are arresting and prosecuting the perpetrators of this inglorious economic crime.

Or are the perpetrators also ghosts like the so called ghost workers themselves? You never can tell, this is Nigeria, where anything can happen.

The truth is that you cannot continue to fool the people all the time and still expect them to continually assume the “Siddon look” attitude. (Apologies to the late Bola Ige).

Enough of this yearly or is it quarterly noise on ghost workers from both the federal and states government. Please, sing us a new song and not this broken sound from some broken tongues feeding fat on our patrimony.

Sorry Madam Minister, I beg to disagree with you that the newly introduced Integrated Payroll and Personal Information System (IPPIS) will put an end to the criminal case of ghost workers in the country, especially at the federal level.

You people know exactly what to do if truly the federal government wants to eradicate ghost workers with a final seal on their thieving coffins.

I do not have confidence in this IPPIS innovation and will never believe in its power to detect and destroy ghosts working in government offices.

We are still living in Nigeria, a country where policy somersault has graciously become the mantra of the day?

Soon, a new Minister or fresh government will come and throw IPPIS away with some flimsy excuses. And before you know it, the ‘ogas’ behind the thriving Ghost Workers Plc, will be back to business and continue to milk our nation dry.

Besides, is it not in this same country with an envious Guinness Book of Records trophy for inconsistent policies, that several toll gates were dismantled and later brought back for government business to continue as usual?

Below are the five funny, but salient questions, Okey Bakassi, the cerebral engineer-turned-entertainer recently asked Madam Iweala and her boss, Goodluck Jonathan on the Black Berry platform, a couple of days ago.

First, have they arrested those who employed ‘ghosts’ when ‘living’ Nigerians don’t have jobs?

Second, have they arrested those who have been paying or collecting the salaries of these Nigerian ‘ghosts?’

Third, have measures been put in place to make sure that the ‘ghosts’ that have retired are not collecting pension?

Fourth, were these ‘ghost’ workers counted in the last Census?

And lastly from Bakassi, whose daily broadcasts on social media platforms are highly revered, can ‘living’ Nigerian youths now take over those 46,821, ‘ghost’ workers jobs?

Truly, the last question makes so much sense, only that we have a government that does not listen to the voice of the people. They only listen to the incoherent tunes of their so called (ill) advisers and cronies.

Just imagine the meaningful impact 46, 000 jobs will make in the lives of the army of unemployed youths, mostly graduates, who roam the streets daily begging and crying for jobs, in a country hugely blessed by God but consistently plundered, raped and ravaged by its rapacious, wicked and worthless warlords.

I will definitely eat my words, apologise and bury my face in shame if only, Madam Iweala could immediately provide honest answers that are devoid of political and economic jargons, to the above teasers posed by Bakassi, my good friend and big brother.

Failure to do so urgently, means her IPPIS, which they claimed was “meant to enhance efficient personnel cost planning and budgeting…” will soon fizzle out like several others before it.

(Fuel subsidy probe still on my mind.)

Lastly, Madam Iweala and her IPPIS team should know that: “An unusual amount of common sense is something called wisdom.”